A Cat called Isaac

Da, Da, there's a big yellow machine in the carpark with big rolly tracks and a long wavy arm, taking sand away from our beach!

Easy, there, Two Feets and one Beak (Can I call you TF for short?). Haven't seen you around since... since I helped your Mum out with that egg. That big yellow machine is...A Cat called Isaac.

Why's it shifting all that sand, Da?

Why, TF, because that there wind blown sand is just about to cover up a fence belonging to the Council.

Why's the Council worried about that, Da?

Because People park in the car park just above that fence, and they don't like gritty sand on their nice cars, TF. And the Council does own that car park, you know. It's one of the few bits of our beach that are actually Private Property. With a Title and all.

Lost you there in that last bit, Da, but there's lots of much higher sandy heaps just real close to the car parky bit. Why don't they take those instead?

Why, young TF, those other higher sandy heaps are Essential Tsunami Protection. And besides, they aren't Endangering Council Amenities. Just foo-barring nasty Developers plans for Towers and things. What's not to like, young TF?

But Da, if there really Is a Tsumani, won't the car parky bits and our favourite rubbish bins, be the first to get washed over? Being as how they are Rilly, Rilly low.

Good point, young TF. Perhaps the Tsunami bit is actually just a crock. Don't tell the other gulls, though - that would just get them all worried. The poor boobies think that there is Essential Tsunami Protection all the way along the whole coast. It's only us wise old gulls who know that there are more holes in that theory than, than, why, more holes than the ones they're digging in front of the Council Car Park!

Da, if the Council was being rilly, like, Consistent about this sand thingy, wouldn't they just sort of level the whole lot off a bit more? Why are they so worried about a few cars in parking lots, to the point where they carefully scrape off the little low lumpy bits in front of them, but leave the great big stonking heapy bits just a few wing beats south and north of the car parks?

Why, young TF, beats me. You can't really expect Rationality and Consistency from this Council, is all. But you wanna know the real joke, TF?

Da, you know your jokes just never fly....Sorry, couldn't resist. Oh, all right. I know you're going to inflict one on me anyway. Inflict away, Da.

Well, young TF, it goes like this. You know that some hopeless specimens Fine Upstanding Citizens don't want nasty High Towers in their little village. Despite the fact that most of these folk don't actually seem to own any property there. But the developers who own the property along the beachfront, they know they can only sell sea-view apartments. So, the joke is, young TF: the precious Council's determination to keep those big sandy heapy bits just as they are, is going to make those Developers ask for plenty of Extra Height to get those sea views....Just the opposite of what those FU... those citizens would want!

Da, that's not actually a joke. That's a Perverse Outcome, and that Council lot should be ashamed of their part in it, surely. They should offer the Cat called Isaac to unheap those heapy bits and then make those Developers settle for less height, and keep everyone happy. Even those smelly hippies Conscientious Objectors?

'Fraid that won't fly, young TF. Nanny Council knows best. The Sandy Heaps will stay as long as they do.

But Da, we are allowed to Spot the Cat, aren't we?

Of course, TF, of course. 'Tis a Gullz Right!