The Road is here (and so is yet more Albanian Concrete bunker design...

Your faithful gull scribe must hear record her deep disappointment at the way this road has turned out.

For starters, there were no bodies lying in front of construction machinery. We had heard from our country gull cousins about just how scrumptious a cast sheep could be. Imagine how tasty the softer bits of a cast human would be! We certainly had our hopes up.

But, despite looking every day at our Slow Road during construction, flying in low, swooping circles, and using our patent Night GullVision specs, there just weren't any such bodies. Perhaps the noisy humans who had promised to do this, just didn't mean what they said? Who knows? But we went hungry (at least until we remembered the back of the Chinese chippie...)

And the advent of all those cars, constantly going up the road has really changed our feeding patterns. We used to be able to hover round those funny humans who sat on benches all through the old Mall, talking to themselves, throwing food around, leaving shiny things for our magpie friends to sort through. Most other humans seemed to actually avoid them - don't know why, they may have smelt funny but that food! But these funny humans seem all to have decamped, along with their food. And once again, gullz go hungry.

It must have something to do with the cars - all those humans looking out the windows - maybe those other humans just felt too observed or something? Some do, you know: just try flying over one of those pairs of humans on the dunes, and they go all aggro and throw things at us.

Whatever, the Slow Road and the new Mall may be a Nimprovement for humans (at least, for the majority, can't please 'em all, you know) but it's a minor Feeding Disaster for gullz. Even the new Subway, which we had so looked forward to, is so clean and tidy, there's just no pickings there at all!

But I must confess that it is fun to see how the new parking spaces have turned out. The Planner Humanz seem to have chosen a Bunker as their design guide for the planters around the parking spaces, as the hard stuff they put around them is about two gullz high. You should hear what some of the parking Humanz have to say when they ease into their chosen spot, and wipe out their tyres, wheel alignments and side panels on these high, hard sides, often all at once! We certainly learnt some new bad words. And those white bunker sides are getting all black from these scrapes - a sure sign of dopey design, according to our old Uncle Theodore.

But gullz, unlike Council Bureaucratz, are adaptable beasts. Deprive us of food here, and we fly around and find it there. We've survived quite well enough to report it to you, our dear readers, after all. But those planters, they're built like - bunkers. They'll be there for a while. Wonder if gullz can take up panelbeating or run a wheel alignment shop? Hmm, another Brighton Business Opportunity! The Council did say they needed more. Not altogether sure this is what they had in mind, though.

Oh well. The Law of Unintended Consequences strikes again. That's life.